I think it’s something that’s embedded into the genes of women who become mothers. You know you’re done having children. But, seeing babies makes your uterus and ovaries quake like nothing else. You see a fresh from the heavens baby and you sigh and look longingly. I do it often. I see pregnant women and long for that belly again. I know I don’t want anymore children. Sigh.

I’ve been forced to sort through the baby clothes in my house. Henry is moving into 2T stuff and I need to clean out the smaller stuff. I hold up the itty bitty pieces and tears well up in my eyes. I’ll never have another peanut to put in those clothes. I’ll never be able to soak up that baby smell. I’ll never sit on my couch and hold a newborn for hours. and hours. and hours. It amazes me {and saddens me at the same time} that time has flown that quickly. I look at some of those clothes and remember my sweet Will wearing them and now, he’s 7 1/2. I held the outfit that Jake wore when he first learned to walk. I smelled the clothes that I swear Henry wore last week, but really, it was many, many months ago. Time is funny – it has a way of making you mourn what you don’t have anymore, but it also has a way of making you treasure where you are right now.

My sister in law is having twins this summer – we’re all very excited. I’m sorting the clothes for her {if she has a boy or boys}. I took out one outfit that I’ll keep forever. It reminds me SO much of my two younger boys – it makes me smile every time I look at it. I’ll keep one that reminds me of my big boy, too.

I’ll pass these clothes on to people who need them, treasure the few pieces I keep for myself and smile. I have lots of pictures and memories that no one else can have.

Apparently, God likes the look of snow far more than dead grass. Just when I was able to see my entire lawn, He switched it up and dumped a good 5 or 6 inches of that icky, white stuff on us. {I prefer the look of dead grass myself}. That icky, white stuff gave my boys a much needed snow day, where they were able to play outside with friends and just be little boys.

Henry experienced his first snow day, too. I wasn’t sure of the reaction I’d get when he felt the snow, but he loved it. {bad mom alert – he’ll be 2 in April and this is his first snow experience. I hate snow and don’t like to be in it, so I’ve never taken him out in it. I suck.} He loved it so much that when it was time to come in, I had to physically pick him up and drag him in the house. {the temper tantrum thrown once we were in the house was like one I’ve never witnessed from a 22 month old before. Ever.} The snow day was nice for me, too – I didn’t need to set the alarm to get up at 0 dark thirty to get everyone ready for school.

I spend most of my awake hours keeping this little handful out of things. I’m certain I’ll look back on this stuff in a few years and laugh, but right now, it’s incredibly frustrating. I need to find a cabinet lock to put on my pantry – as you can see, he likes to get in it. In fact, he likes to try to SIT in it. Right now, as I try to type this out, I’m sharing couch space with a box of cake mix, some teddy grahams and some boxed dinners. Those Betty Crocker fruit Stickerz packages are thrown all over the living room floor. I have packages of food in my pantry that I can’t identify – he’s torn the boxes up and taken stuff out of boxes, so I have no idea what belongs where. I keep telling myself that I’m going to miss this stuff, so I’m doing my best to just take it all in stride.

I’m working on some cute scrapbook pages that I’ll share here soon. My husband also bought me a sewing machine – YAY!!!! I tried to go to Joann’s and look around yesterday, but someone wasn’t very cooperative and started screaming as soon as we walked in. I can’t wait to start sewing some things.

As you can see, it’s been a hodge podge of sorts around here. We’ve been doing little bits of this and that. Life is good.

For EVERY birthday, we go to Toys R’ Us. The birthday boy is given a crown, a balloon AND they announce his birthday on the intercom throughout the whole store. So, people who are shopping in the store can wish him a happy birthday. The employees love seeing the kids walking around and always wish them a happy birthday. My boys LOVE it.

I’m having a hard time today. I’m seeing a lot of the negative in life today, instead of focusing on the positive. The cold weather is getting to me. I’m tired. I’m not as young as I used to be and I’m paying for that today.

So, while I’m waiting for my husband to bring home some pizza, I’m going to make a list of things I love. Husband and children will NOT be on this list – they’re a given and truly at the top of my list anyway Jesus is at the top, too.

1. sleep – sleep that’s so deep, you wake up and don’t realize where you are and what time it is.

2. climbing into a bed with clean sheets, right after you’ve taken a shower. that’s a little piece of heaven to me

3. orange soda. (I’m from the east coast. I don’t do the “pop” thing.)

4. fountain coke from McDonald’s. the best. hands down.

5. Hobby Lobby

6. scrapbooking stores. I’m giddy when I go in them.

7. mindless television (bait car, cops, bad girls club.)

8. music that reminds me of people I love.

9. seasons when I don’t have to wear a coat when I go outside. :::sigh::: (here, that’s summer and that’s pretty much it.)

10. the beach and the ocean.

11. purple

12. when I ask my children to do something and they say, “OK, mom” immediately AND actually do it. (that should be #1)

13. Lemon Passion from Macaroni Grill (oh….my)

14. Watching my babies sleep

15. Dove Truffles (I like food way too much)

16. fondue (the one thing I miss about living in Switzerland)

17. scrapple (google it – it’s not pretty, but it’s SO good).

18. when my husband rubs my head as I fall asleep at night.

19. silence when you think you can’t handle any more noise.

20. a really good haircut.

So, in a few minutes, I’m going to toast my glass to pizza, mindless TV, a good night’s sleep and having a better mindset tomorrow.

I really need it.

Hi. Remember me? I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t.

Before last week, Halloween was the last time I posted. My blogging mojo went AWOL. I spent the last several months trying to stay afloat. (I often feel like my house is going to swallow me up). I enjoyed lots of family time and a VERY. LONG. Christmas vacation back east with family. (it was the longest 2 weeks of my life and we won’t be doing 2 weeks again.). Besides that, I often don’t feel that interesting and my life is boring (in a very good way, to me).

My youngest sweet boy started daycare (one day a week – socialization for him, some quiet, productive time for mommy) – his speech has exploded a bit. He still screams like a banshee when I drop him off, but within seconds of me walking out of this classroom, he’s off to play with his friends. He’ll be 22 months old on February 1st. Time, please use the brakes, please.

The mojo is coming back, slowly, but surely. I’ve spent some time trying to figure out what I want to do here. I LOVE to be creative – I love to cook and scrapbook, so I think I’m going to focus on those things. I’m trying to convince my husband to buy me a sewing machine for Mother’s Day or my birthday – I want to learn how to sew, too!! There will be some personal stuff thrown in here and there, but I know there’s a bunch of mojo existing in my creative life.

If anyone is still out there and still reading here, I hope you visit the Hearts at Home Blog and enter the Living with Less Contest. I’ve attended 2 Hearts at Home conferences and love what they’re all about AND I love Jill Savage. Check it out!

Six years ago today, my heart was forever changed by the birth of this little gem of a boy. I’m a better person for knowing him. He makes me see the silly side of life. His laugh is infectious. He has the sweetest smile. He would eat pizza for every meal if I let him. He loves ICarly and Spongebob. And doughnuts.

He has a very tender heart. He loves his brothers. He’s a mama’s boy. He wants very much to please people.

He loves life with every ounce of his being. He gets his feelings hurt very easily. He loves food as much as his big brother loves sports. I think, if given the option, he’d still be in utero. If he couldn’t be in utero, he’d be permanently planted on my lap.

I pray thanks to God every day for letting me borrow this sweet boy for my time here on earth. I’m so thankful God chose me to be his mama.

Happy Birthday, Jake. I love you more than you’ll ever know.

I fear the germs are creeping in – Jake has a fever (low grade) and his teacher was out for the last 2 days of school with the flu. I heard quite a bit of coughing and sneezing while at our elementary school yesterday. I think illness is inevitable – no matter how often my kids wash their hands or use hand sanitizer, the germs are everywhere. I’ve not been feeling too well the past few days either.

I’ve been willing the germs out – next will be high vitamin C intake. I plan on drinking OJ until it comes out of my ears and then give that much to my kids.

It has to work. It just has to work.

(The church from The Sound of Music – Salzburg, Austria)