I needed a break – a break from being mom. As much as I adore them, I needed to be Tina and Tina only – not “moooooooooom” or “mommy”.

We’ve had these concert tickets for several months now – we were going out with friends. We’d planned the whole evening. I was very much looking forward to it – I just needed a break. A break from the stresses of life.

We’re tailgating at the concert – I was really enjoying myself. My dad sends me a text message – “call me”. He wants me to come home soon – home meaning where I grew up. My 60 year old mother is in the hospital – in congestive heart failure. He wants me to see my mom before it’s too late. He doesn’t want to have to call me to tell me she’s gone. I don’t want that either.

I’m 36 years old – married with 3 small children. How do I put “my life” on hold to be only my mother’s daughter again? How do I not bang my fists on tables and yell at doctors who should have taken care of this YEARS AGO? How do I keep my heart from breaking when I walk into a hospital room to see a woman I barely recognize – a woman far too young to have to deal with this.

My babies and my wonderful husband are sleeping soundly right now – I lie here awake. I lie here with my heart heavier than I’ve felt it in a long time. I’m stuck – I truly don’t know what to do. Someone please tell me what to do.

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